Thursday, July 30, 2009

Wading into the red tape . . .

"If you are going to sin, sin against God, not the bureaucracy.
God will forgive you but the bureaucracy won't."
Hyman G. Rickover

I am beginning to finally wade into the sea of red tape that is registering an out of hospital birth in Los Angeles County. I find it kind of sad that having your baby outside of a medical institution is considered so taboo in my county. There is a very large part of me that just wants to never register him and keep him totally off the grid - but I know that would cause him major issues later in life, so I will be a good mummy and not screw up his chances of running for President someday . . .

Maybe what bothers me the most is government employees, little worker bees (really to call them this is an insult to worker bees who are actually efficient and productive, something the employees in the County Registrars Office never have been, nor will be) that act as if having my baby at home has somehow put them out. As if I chose a home birth just to put their collective noses out of joint. The condescension literally drips off them as they "explain" what paperwork I need, and even though what they are telling me is different than what is listed on their official paperwork, questions will immediately lead to the questioner being branded as a trouble maker.

Let's not even get started on getting a social security number for your out of hospital child . . . God forbid you do not have an "imunininization record" (no, I am not joking), to prove who your child is (because the birth certificate you have just paid for in blood, sweat, tears, and six forms of documentation is not good enough on its own), if you do not have said record, you are obviously a negligent parent and must therefore be treated like the lowest form of pond scum. It is enough to make you want to swear off "civilized" society forever and retreat to the woods somewhere.

"My symbol for Hell is something like the bureaucracy of a police state
or the office of a thoroughly nasty business concern."
C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters

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