Tuesday, August 31, 2010

How My Life Would Be Better With a Serger

You may or may not have heard that Sew, Mama , Sew! is giving away a Serger, and not just any Serger but a brand new Husqvarna Viking Serger with a retail value of $1199. This is a serious machine! Today is the last day to enter, and they asked for creative entries answering the question "how would your life be better with a serger" so I've been spending all month thinking up creative entries that I could post.

I thought I could do a rap about how my kids need their pants hemmed and cute adorable clothes to wear, cute adorable clothes made by me utilizing a Husqvarna Viking Serger (retail value $1199, oh wait did I mention that already?) "A rap?" you say, "surely you jest." Acutally, I do not jest, I was going to make Ed record it and (little known fact alert) he once appeared on The New Gong Show doing a rap about Del Taco. True Story. And I was going to make my kids dance around and wear their hats sideways (wearing unhemmed pants of course to illustrate my dire need of a Husqvarna Serger, retail value $1199 *ahem*). Jamie likes to wear his hat sideways anyway, well just sort of askew a la Fernando Rodney, closing pitcher for the Angels, Maddie seems to like to rock the side-tilt as well:

But, news flash here, I am working full time, and when I get home Ed leaves for work and works half (or all of!) the night, and we switch off again in the morning. This is not conducive to rap writing, record, or rap video filming, but what a clever idea, right? Maybe I'll get points for at least having the idea.

So my next idea was to do just a brief video for this blog post, once again featuring my cute kids (cause I'm looking for the extra little hook that will say "hey, let's give this nice lady a Husqvarna Serger, retail value $1199, look - she has cute kids"). In this video, my aforementioned cute kids would once again show all their unhemmed pants, please reference my post about upcycling Maddie's girl jeans into boy shorts for James, and my sad, sad unfinished hems. And maybe they would also hold up signs listing all of the ways a Husqvarna Serger, retail value $1199 would make our lives better, you know going for an Oliver Twist "Please sir, might I have some more" kind of feel. But I had this idea just this last week and would have had to a) video on my phone, b) get my kids to cooperate, c) go to Ed's office (you know sometime between me getting off work and him actually going to his office) to edit the video, and I kinda sorta just ran out of time.

Brilliant idea #3 was to write all of my reasons a Husqvarna Serger, retail value $1199 (really, I'm just sayin' that is like almost a whole two weeks pay people, you know once our dear Uncle Sam gets done with my check) would make my life better and then go to my church picnic last Saturday and have various people (inlcluding, but not limited to, cute kids, and my pastor - see playing both the kid and the God card there . . . nicely done) read the reasons aloud followed by a "please give Jessica a Husqvarna Serger, retail value $1199." Ok, that last part may be a little too much, plus I am not entirely sure how to pronounce Husqvarna . . .
This video entry seemed like a good plan but then tragedy struck. Ed sprained his ankle badly the day before the picnic! So we missed all the fun of the picnic as well as my opportunity to exploit my fellow congregants for my own personal gain . . . darn.

So here we are on the last day to link up an entry and I've got nothin'! Ok, well I have the cute kids . . . but other than that, I got nothin'! So, creative entries not forthcoming, here is a brief essay stating how my life would be better with a Husqvarna Serger, retail value $1199 ;)

How My Life Would Be Better With a Serger
An Essay by Me

My life would be better with a serger for, oh, so many reasons. The first of which is I would finally lose all the baby weight left over from baby #2 (and baby #1, who are we kidding?) because I would spend all of my time creating wonderful products on it and forget to eat.
Another reason my life would be better with a serger is that I could finally hem (neatly and correctly) the several pairs of pants my poor toddlers wear without proper hems. I would then stop feeling like a horrible mother every time I do the laundry and notice that Maddie's blue pants with the owl print have come completely unhemmed, or snip some more scraggly threads of Jamie's upcycled jean shorts, and then put them back in the drawer to wear and pretend I haven't noticed.
I also truly believe if I was to be selected to win this Husqvarna serger (retail value $1199), global warming would cease, people would start being nicer to their neighbors, the remaining Beatles would go on tour, the price of gasoline would drop to pennies on the gallon, the lion would lay down with the lamb, and we would achieve world peace.

To conlcude, I really, really, want a serger.

Thank you for your consideration.


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