Before I Was a Mom

Before I was a mom . . .

I never would have had to put "take a shower" on my to do list.

I knew what eight hours of sleep a night felt like.

I saw movies that were rated higher than "G."

I read books.

I would have been hard pressed to have an entire conversation about poop and vomit.

I did things on the spur of the moment.

I actually closed the door when I went to the bathroom - and it stayed closed.

I had personal space.

Before I was a mom I wanted to be one so badly that my heart ached.

If I had really known what I was missing, there is no way I would have made it through 6 plus years of infertility . . . because what I was missing wasn't just exhaustion and tears and feelings of inadequacy.

It was Maddie and James.

Of course there are times I am tempted to just completely melt down and lock myself in the bathroom, but would I trade even the most frustrating moment of parenthood for one more moment of infertility?

Never in a million years.

Are they twins?

I figured eventually that Maddie and James would be mistaken for twins, it is almost inevitable as they are only 14 months (and one day!) apart.  James is also a super big baby, not that Maddie is a tiny little thing by any stretch of the imagination, but James takes it to a whole new level.  I figured eventually James would catch up to, and even pass, Maddie in size and we'd start getting the are they twins question then.  I never thought people would start asking when he was only 7 months old.  I mean, he's big, but he's not as big as an almost 2 year old!  We have gotten the question twice in two days though, so there must be something I am not seeing. . . . both times they've been bundled up in the stroller, so maybe seated they look closer in size.

Here are the "twins" on their way to the library:

Let's just take a minute and contemplate how totally insane it is that I even have two babies this close in age.  I mean, it is still a little odd to me that I have one baby . . . after six years of trying, two losses, it took 3 injectable iuis and 2 ivf cycles to have my sweet Maddie, and then boom 5 months later I am pregnant with James.  I never thought I'd be that story, you know the annoying one everyone tells to their infertile friends - "Oh, I know this girl who did ivf and then got pregnant again right after . . ."  Omg I am THAT story.

A fun little trip down memory lane . . .  look at all the drugs I got to shoot up with for one cycle of ivf (yes I said one!)

Boy, am I happy I am that story - annoying as I found them when I was doing infertility treatments.